MY FATHER'S EULOGY

My father passed away On 18th August 2013. I am neither the oldest nor the youngest in our family but somehow I found myself thrust in the limelight on the passing of our father and ended up leading in the arrangements for his funeral. It may have something to do with my level of education or the trust my siblings had in me. I recently learnt that I am the 9th born out of the 17 surviving siblings – which means that I occupy the middle spot in terms of age. I did not know much of my father while growing up despite the fact we lived less than a kilometer apart. I grew up with my mother and she paid for everything for me from food, clothes to school fees. When I was about 20 yrs old, soon after joining the university, my father came and visited me at the university; it was the first and only visit I ever got from him while I was in school. I don’t remember talking a lot to him but he congratulated me and gave me a blanket. Despite the gap that existed between us, I was touched by his act and in a way I felt sorry for him. Rather than seek answers, I chose to forget about the past and try and forge a relationship with my father especially now that he had made the first step. I now look back on that decision as one of the best decisions I ever made. In the following years, a relationship developed and I got know him and the rest of the family. I learnt that it was not only me that our father had ‘neglected’ but there were also others who had suffered the same fate as me. Over the following years, I got close to him and especially in the last years of his life, we got closer. He started confiding in me and consulting me on very important decisions of his life. I am so happy that we had managed to mend our relationship by the time of his death. On the 20th of August 2013, I stood before a crowd of almost 400 people to eulogise the man I knew as my father for only 22 years and this is what I said: I welcome you all and thank you for joining us as we bid farewell to our father and your friend Katumba Sserwano. My name is Robert Henry Kiggundu and I stand here on behalf of my siblings, our mothers and spouses to eulogise our father, husband and friend. When I look around here, I see many friends and relatives, some of whom I have not seen for decades. I thank you so much for the love and support you have given us. I also feel proud to see many of you because that shows me what our father meant to you. As you pray for us to stay strong, I request you to especially keep in your prayers and thoughts, our sisters Annette Nakafeero (currently living in London, UK) and Lydia Namuli (currently living in Amsterdam, Netherlands). Our brother Richard Ssali could not be with us because of other personal problems in his private life. First and foremost, I wish to apologise to our father and anybody else who may have know his ways. Our father always insisted that he wished for a quick burial, preferably the same day if he died in the morning. We did not do that. Although he passed away on Sunday night, his body is being laid to rest almost 48 hrs later. We wanted to give our father a descent funeral and in so doing we went against his wish. I sincerely pray and hope that he forgives us. He had reasons (challenges) he wanted to avoid by having a quick burial; we have tried to ensure that we address them: 1. He always believed that keeping a dead body for a long period meant providing meals for people who come to the vigil, which may be costly and a burden to all of us. He never wanted to bother us or any body to pay for his funeral expenses. In fact he recently made me a signatory on his personal account to ensure that I could draw money and pay for his funeral expenses. He need not worry about that because with your tremendous support, we did not even have to use the money he set aside for his funeral expenses. 2. He further believed that keeping the body beyond 24 hrs required treatment and preservation, which is, still a cost that he would rather avoid. 3. Thirdly, he believed that some undisciplined people would use the night vigils to verbally attack other people and use vulgar language under the guise of being drunk. He was extremely against this. It was our duty to ensure that wherever he is, he does not feel like he has been a burden to us and that people don’t use his death to behave awfully. I thank you all for making this possible through the moral and financial support you have given us. Our father was very determined man. It is through such determination that he did things that were considered unusual or even taboos. Three years ago, he invited all of us to a family meeting and gave away his property while still alive and directed on how to treat whatever he had not given away. Many people who had never heard of this questioned his wisdom but this did not deter him. Our father loved his ancestry and was very proud of his culture and being a Muganda. He always reminded me how certain things should not be done merely because this is Buganda- ‘we just don’t things that way in Buganda’ he always pointed out. He lived far away from this place but always felt responsible for the folk in this area. Every death he knew of, he wanted to attend and when he could not he always sent a condolence message with some kind of contribution. Towards his death he was overly obsessed with the construction of a family house in this area. I am happy to note that 3 months before his death, this house had been completed and I am sure he has gone away a settled person. Our father was a very courageous man often standing for what he believes in even when he was alone. During the tumultuous time of the early 1980s he continued to go to his shamba in Namugongo even when he had been told that the soldiers of the then Obote regime would pick him up and lock him for being a rebel, which indeed happened and he was locked up in Makindye Barracks. He has tried in his life to give us lessons of life often passing on what in his opinion he thought was critical for a man to survive. Many of us remember him for different things but I personally remember him for two things; never drink alcohol and never sell land you own. He was a humorous man often joking with us. I remember so many times he joked about how much I eat or how he ended up in a Catholic church because of my wedding. Even on his deathbed, when we were planning for a family meeting here, he joked about how those who choose not to come will miss the goat meat that will be on the menu. Sserwano Katumba was born in 1939 here in Nakafumu. He told me that he left this place when he was 9 yrs old (1948) to go and look after his Grandfather’s property and land in Kireka. His Grandfather had previously passed away in 1935. While in Kireka, he lived and grew up under the nurture and care of Ssentongo Kateyanira (abangi gwe bamanyi nga Kakanzu). He has lived all his life in Kireka since 1948. He tried his hands on many different vocations throughout his life including being a coffee farmer, waragi distiller and cab driver. He produced 22 children, but by the time of his 5 of them (all girls) had passed and only 17 (10 girls and 7 boys) still live. He is survived by a number of grandchildren and a few great grandchildren. Our father has lived with Diabetes and High Blood Pressure for more than 20 years. He has managed well over those 20 years, usually following doctor’s advice to the letter. In fact, I have been told that he did his daily 3km walk a day before his death, the same day, Saturday 17th August 2013, when I first received a telephone that he was unwell. I found out from the caller, that despite being unwell, his sugar levels and blood pressure were not what would be called abnormal for him. At the time, it was assumed that he may have malaria and I chose to follow up the following day on Sunday. Being, a Sunday, I thought it would be wise to call a doctor first and make an appointment rather than just showing up at any hospital. I spent much of that morning trying to get in touch with the different doctors I know without much success. About lunchtime, I decided to go home with the intention of taking my father to any hospital that may be open. When I got home, I found that other members of the family had already got in touch with a locally based doctor who was now administering treatment. I got a brief from the doctor who told me that he had taken samples from my father and sent them to the laboratory, the results had been brought in and they indicate that he has a major chest infection, which was probably the cause of vomiting. The doctor further stated that he had now started on a regime to bring this chest infection under control and that the vomiting had receded. Unfortunately at about that time (soon after treatment for the chest infection had started), my father’s diabetes got worse. The doctor immediately discontinued the chest infection treatment and started treatment to bring the sugar levels down. I was asked to go to the pharmacy and buy some more medicine and an hour later when I returned, I was told that my father’s condition had gotten worse while I was away although there was no evidence of that. He was quietly sleeping and indeed at one time he asked us to stop making noise because ‘he wanted to rest’. I and all the other siblings moved out of the house to continue our conversation and dispersed a few minutes later. I got home and an hour later, I was called and informed that he had now slipped into coma. I returned to his home and drove him in an ambulance provided by the doctor from the local clinic to Case Hospital where he was pronounced dead on arrival. I would like to thank everyone who did something to ensure that our father lives; the relatives, the doctors (especially Dr. Nyenje and Dr. Kafeero) and our mother who lived with our father till the last days of his life. I also take this opportunity to thank all of you who supported us from the time the news of his passing was broken up to this moment, I thank the clergy for praying for our father’s soul, I thank the MC for this afternoon, Mr. Gaster Mukasa who has been with us since Sunday night and many more other who have done a lot to ensure that our father gets an honorable send off. Thank you all. To my sisters and brothers, our father has been the foundation of this family and he always brought us together. His departure does not mean that we should now fall apart and let the family collapse; we should ensure that we stay together and work together to carry his legacy on. Despite his limited education and financial means, he did not sell the property he inherited but instead acquired more property, which he distributed to all of us three years ago. We should emulate him and work hard to add to what he left to us. The power to achieve that is in our hands and we can choose to do so. All I ask the rest of you out there, is to pray for us. REST IN PEACE DEAR DAD.