SNAKE IN A POT

When my family changed that last line of our home address from Nairobi to London, I knew that there was a lot to learn and adjust to. I have spent the last 3 years of my residence in UK much as a student but now I get the opportunity to assess the people and city that have served as my hosts. Here below, I rate some of the aspects of life on a scale of 1 to 10, one being rubbish and 10 excellent. The City - 6 First of all there is nothing to see in London and there is this sense of being insecure (with all the stabbings reported). The shopping is brilliant and contrary to the sentiments of the locals, I have no problem with the transport system. Media/TV and Radio - 9 I have learnt in the past that as a new resident in a country, the best way to get acquainted and learn about your hosts is through the print and broadcast media. I immediately started buying the papers and flipping through the FM channels and Television channels. It was not long before I discovered that ‘The Mail’...

Strange (or would I call them unusual) things happen on this great island. As early as their arrival at Heathrow Airport, my wife’s party that included our daughter Renee – 18 months, our son Ryan -3 years and a nanny got to know that things are going to be different and that this was not going to be the joy easy ride that we had in Nairobi. My 3 year old son had clearly been distressed by the 8 hour flight and this was made worse by the extra necessary immigration check to ensure that this African family was not travelling on a fake visa/work permit or carrying some despicable disease that is capable of wiping out the whole civilized population. After holding up pretty well for the entire flight and an hour into immigration procedure, Ryan cracked (understandably) and started throwing tantrums including the wildest of wails ever heard from him. Attempts were made to soothe and calm him down to no avail. It was at this time, that his mother remembered that he really feared visitin...

My answer is No and this is why. I recently returned home for the summer holidays and literally walked into this row (some white friend is complaining about being called ‘Mzungu’) by kids and adults alike. Coincidentally, I had just returned form Accra in Ghana where I had spotted a letter to the press complaining about the same thing, - apparently someone was unhappy about being called Oburoni (the equivalent of Mzungu in East Africa). Anyone who has been to this dusty town of ours knows what this term means. The children will cry out ‘Mzungu how are you’, the vendors will call ‘Mzungu come and buy’ and some naughty men will propose to white women by calling them Mzungu (you must have heard of the local hit ‘Omwana w’omuzungu by the late Paul Kafeero’. Now, I do understand when white folks complain about a title that classifies them by race, especially when they come from the politically correct communities of UK that think that calling me black is being racist. I have been in t...

It's rare that I feel such indignation for another team but last night I somehow felt for Chelsea and that was long before I considered the two legged tie in its entirety. Chelsea got exactly what they deserved, for two entire games they parked 10 men in and around their penalty area. It was like watching Stoke City against Liverpool in the FA Premier League. Surely we can do with better football at this level. Did they deserve to be in the final – for the only reason that they were the only opponents worth of a name to MANURE. Barca is a such a let-down to all footballers lovers that it is hard to fathom what sustains talk ‘of the best football club in the world’- that is for later though. Chelsea may have been on form but have zero class and you know what they say about form it is temporary (hoping to enjoy it over 180 minutes was stretching the luck a little too far). Should a side with only 33% possession really deserve to win? Hell no! Chelsea were not worth of a slot i...

It is already March and this is only my second article for the blog, despite the fact that I promised myself to write one every month. Thanks to the ‘Spirit of Giving’, I got a subject so irresistible to write about – not that there haven’t been any subjects worth writing about in the last two months. Two week ago, my son brought a fundraising ticket from his school in support of the Red Nose Day. I did not know what this was about, so I asked a friend who has lived here for almost a decade. He explained that this was an ‘annual fundraising by Comic Relief’. More trouble, what the flipping nail was ‘Comic Relief’. I decided not expose any more of my ignorance and chose head for the internet – this has been the main source of information for me since I moved to this country and 99% of the time, it has been useful. As I was driving home, I realized that my friend had used the word annual - how come I did not hear about this in the previous 2 years. This meant that even after liv...